Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Entering eight years.
Today my oldest turns eight. Hannah is a vibrant, loving, nurturer. She is kind and thoughtful, loyal and sweet. She sings and dances, and has a delightful sense of humor. She is a doll in every way.
I took these pictures yesterday afternoon. She's lovely isn't she? Hannah is entering a bright eight year old's world, and I'm entering yet another year of motherhood. Which at this particular moment, I'm not too fond of, as Olivia is still fighting me tonight on bed time.
I remember being pregnant with Hannah and wanting so badly for her to be born. And, of course, she was, and I had no clue what I was doing.
I ended up having Hannah a few weeks early due to Toxemia. My blood pressure was very high and my kidneys started to shut down, my OB decided to induce me. I was in labor for 47 hours. My epidural didn't work most of the time, and I had an episiotomy from hell, cut from sea to shining sea, if you know what I mean. Hannah was too large to pass through the birth canal and got stuck on the way out. 2 nurses and my anesthesiologist took turns getting on top of me and rammed, yes rammed, Hannah out of my body. I remember pushing with all my might, nearly passing out. Hannah finally slipped out and was nearly dead. Earlier my OB had called in the neo-natal team so assistance was ready and waiting. My doctor held Hannah high in the air and she was dark blue and hung like a rag doll in his hands. I remember shrieking "what did you do to my baby?", as he passed the limp baby onto to the next set of hands. She failed her initial screenings for life, and was feverishly worked on. It was then that I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever listened to - the very most faint sound of a new born's cry. She had pulled through. She was bruised heavily, as was I, but we made it... the pair of us did. Andrew nearly passed out from all of the blood, but he soon recovered and jumped into fatherhood head first. A few days later my husband and I brought Hannah home, and this life, as we know it now began. I just cannot believe my good fortune and immeasurable blessing becoming a mother has brought to my life. I love my life's calling with all of my soul. I love my little Hannah, my other children, and the children I still hope to bear with every ounce of my being.
So here we are, still making it through this life together, my children, husband, and I. I love this little girl with all that I am. Happy Birthday, sweet Hannah. You've made my dream of becoming a mother come true. I am every thing with you.