Friday, April 25, 2008


Look at who's in the bathtub with Ian! It's OLIVIA. This is the first time this child had enjoyed a bubble bath in months. Olivia started out hating bath time as an infant. Then she adored it, hated it again, and now we're back to the loving end of the rope. I hope this time it'll stick. I could not have enjoyed bathing the children more yesterday morning. Watching Olivia splash, play, giggle, and dump water every where couldn't have brought me more joy. Bath time is such a nice "time out" for all of us. The kids can play and get clean at the same time, and it buys me an hour of sitting and catching my breath. I'm loving it.

Did any one catch Dr. Phil yesterday? I never watch him. My "break" is generally earlier in the day when Olivia naps, and by the time 3pm rolls around, the kids will be home from school in a hour, and we're thick in chores, toys, and snacks. Tuesday or Wednesday I saw the preview for the show, and decided to make sure to watch. It was about a woman who's son is acting out sexually, and is suspected of being abused by his grandfather. This woman also was molested by her father. Her father joins the show, and the confrontation begins. Part two is on today.

The woman described her feeling the evilness of her father. It was so interesting how she put her feelings into words, because I, too, have described the man who molested me the very same way. When we are finally able to move out of this man's house, I remember him clutching my little body close to his and saying good bye. I remember feeling evil radiate from his body, and remember wishing to be put down, knowing this man was consumed by the adversary.

I felt literally ill, right along with that woman, through the entire show. And her father was so obviously sick that it was hard for me to watch him. How very sick a person must be to assault a child, molest her/him, take a child's innocence away. Sexual abuse has such severe repercussions in the victim's life, the suffering is indescribable. I feel it deep in my soul, in my worth as a woman. The healing for me, thus far, has been life long.

I'm going to watch part two today, mainly because there is some thing sweet in seeing justice be passed to a victim, and some thing sweet seeing the perpetrator brought to restitution's door.
I wish more then any thing, every victim had their very own sweet taste of victory in their own lives, but sadly, most suffer in silence. Let us all guard ourselves, and our own children just a little bit more.

Update: My feelings after watching part two of the Dr. Phil special:
I am truly horrified. What amazed me what how truly sick that man is, in EVERY sense of the word. Truly, truly sick, as are all pedophiles. I have to admit, I am sitting here numb, with my mind spinning. Words can't express..... mainly because I have felt EVERY thing that was expressed on that show. Some times things just don't fit into a nice tidy box, where I try to keep my emotions. This is exactly why I am, at times, lost in my attempts to keep my children safe or have lost it when I felt like they have been endangered. Because I know, first hand, the suffering that could follow. To imagine my children suffering the same, it brings me to my knees.


Lara said...

I saw the previews for that show and didn't get to see it (I rarely have a free moment during his show either).

This issue is seriously so scary and it seems that more and more people are victims of this type of abuse and I just wonder how I can totally protect my sweet kids. Because so many times it's people you trust.

((hugs)) to you, you are such an inspiration.

Lindsey said...

Yeah for Olivia (and for you)!

I did not see Dr. Phil. I am truly sorry that you had to endure such things growing up. No one, certainly not a child, should live through such an everlasting tragedy. And it is everlasting. I pray that you will heal a little from this show and heal a little more with each coming day. It's such a process, isn't it?

Lindsey said...

I tried to watch Dr. Phil today and just could not. I could not even listen to the horrific things that dirty old man had done. I was truly horrified.

Misty said...

Yes. Truly horrified. I am too. What amazed me what how truly sick that man is, in EVERY sense of the word. Truly, truly sick, as are all pedophiles. I had to admit, I am sitting here numb, with my mind spinning. Words can't express..... mainly because I have felt EVERY thing that was expressed. Some times things just don't fit into a nice tidy box, where I try to keep my emotions.

just jamie said...

I missed that show. Darn it. I saw the previews and wanted to see that coward admit his shame.

I dunno if sick is the right word. I reserve that word for people who are physically ill. Men like him are just F*ed up. Period.

Misty, I hate that your innocence was robbed by such demented actions. But I LOVE that you have turned your life into miracles and blessings. It's difficult, these memories must haunt you every day. But YOU are GOING on. You are ending the cycle and proving that you are not powerless anymore. Love you.

And yeah Olivia!

Klin said...

I can't watch these things on TV. It's a control thing. I can't help them, so I can't watch it cause I get so frustrated. I also loathe the predators. I treat their victims and the things they do and say. . . You are an amazing woman. Can't keep a good woman down.

Kami said...

UGH! My heart goes out to you and every person who has suffered at the hands of such a person.

It is truly an abomination, the whole sick act of sexual abuse.

Thanks for sharing your feelings Misty.

And Yay for Olivia! I love bath time too:-)

Ashley said...

My youngest just recently started enjoying bath time. Now I am fighting to get her out!

I didn't see the show. I hate how the perps are always so arrogant. What in the hell do they have to be proud of. It literally makes me sick.

You are so strong, thanks for sharing your feelings.

Are You Serious! said...

♡ Emma didn't like the bath when she was little and neither did Olivia however Lane & Eliza went crazy with it!

I never saw that Dr. Phil... But with your description... How truely horrifing! I can't even imagine how truely messed he must be!

LaskiGal said...

I didn't see it . . . all of it, that is. It pains me to watch this. But, unfortunately, I know people like this.

I dread people like this.

Misty, you continue to amaze me . . .

Cheri said...

Whoa. I didn't even know that was on Dr. Phil. I usually peek thought the week's shows to see if there is anything I want to DVR, but I missed that one.

Here's a big, warm hug for you.

Mandi said...


I just wanted to say how much you amaze me with your strength, I know each time you see or hear this and unfortunately it seems to be alot, you have to relive everything that you experienced in your childhood. It takes amazing strength to endure what you have, now how you deal with that I do not know, but your thougths and posts are so powerful because it gives all of us an insight into a horrible thing and hopefully with the knowledge that you have so graciously shared with us, it may alert us to something with our own children, it might just trigger that "something is not right" feeling and enable us to protect our children from these preditors -thank you!!!

I know last week you were unsure about sharing so much, but let me tell you - I value all you have to say because protecting our children is a job we all take seriously and being able to talk to my kids about some of the things you have said makes me feel like its opened up a door so that if they ever feel uncomfortable with someone - even if its a close friend of the families they know I will back them 100% because the risk is just too big to take.

I have only found your blog recently and dont know if you have posted before, but I hope this is not too personal a question, but have you ever had an opportunity to confront your abuser? I cannot even think what that may be like and I dont know if there is any benefit in doing it, but what would you say???

Take care and have a great week!!!

Amy said...

You are so strong. I hope you are having a good week. I just wanted to say hi!

Cecily R said...

I can't watch stuff like that anymore. I realized a few years ago that watching anything that talks to much about children in danger, for whatever reason, whether it's real of fictionalized sends me into more stress than I can bear. I just turn it off. My heart can't take it.

That said, I hope it helped you realize you are not alone in your struggles.

And on a happier note, YAY for Olivia!! My kids all went through liking/disliking baths. Evie is in a loving it phase, but two months ago she screamed the second she hit the water until the second she got out. Funny baby!

utmommy said...

I hope bath time continues to go well.

I get sick of thinking about how people can hurt innocent little children. I can't even comprehend it.

Anonymous said...

I did not watch the episode, but I have it recorded. I can't bring myself to watch it yet. I worked for Child Protective Services for 6years, up until about 9 months ago, in a sexual abuse unit. I dealt with pediphiles every day, denying what they had done, and tried to help the victims pick up the pieces...the very YOUNG victims. It was awful, over and over and over. I commend you for surviving WELL, and taking care of your kids. I wish I could say the same about more of the kids I worked with!