Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Peek into the past.


I've been meaning to dig these out to share, and I finally got around to it yesterday. Ian wanted to look out in storage for his father's old school GI Joes, which we found, and I also grabbed my bin of keep-sakes.

So above. Above is my report card, the comments section of my Kindergarten year. This was right around the time my mother had left my brother, sister, and I. You'll have to click on the photo to read the comments. I think it speaks for itself.



Here is map my grandfather drew out in this (dumb) "All About Me" book from a therapist I had. I was supposed to be able to look at if after I was adopted, which never happened. Still, when I look at this book now it pains me. I think I'll quickly tuck all this stuff away again. I got bounced around a lot, don't you think?


And last, here's a page in a book I made in Kindergarten. It says, "Do you want to know why I am getting adopted? Because my Mom ran away.". Complete with tears. Kind of sad, don't you think?

So - there's a little bit more of me, I'm sharing with you. Pictures make it seem more real for me. Does it for you, too?

19 comments:

Lori said...

that is very sad. I can only imagine how hard that must have been to deal with at such an early age, but I'm glad you've overcome!

just jamie said...

Oh my goodness. I just want to scoop up that brave little girl and tell her that SHE IS LOVED!

Amazing that you have these "keepsakes." Amazing that there are children going home every day to monsters, and the world just doesn't see it.

Marie said...

Thank God for the gospel eh? I am so grateful that I finally know who I am. Sending you a cyber hug from across the sea. (((hugs)))

Lynell said...

You amaze me! I think it is wonderful the choice that you have made to stop the cycle. Reading your story gives me hope! We all have things to over come. Some harder than others. Isn't it nice to know we have other people cheering us on. Because of you I want to be better. Thanks

Lynell said...

I just want to add that your picture is heartbreaking. Big hugs from me!

Misty said...

Those keepsakes were saved for me by my grandmother. We call her Gammer. She saved them, and I was able to keep them for my own when I was emancipated from my adoptive parents. The rest of the stuff, Paula (my adoptive "mother") dropped the rest of it off to me in a box, on the door step - that was the first time I was able to see pictures of my biological parents in 10 or more years. I remember that day, clearly, looking through that box, feeling my heart sink....

Klin said...

Pictures from children tell a very clear story. To me anyway.

I noticed the missing parent signature on your progress report. You had an amazing teacher. I don't know many who would have looked at the real reason and written in such a way. Most just see the behavior and chart the negative. I loved that he/she put that they will add more "TLC." It touches my heart.

Now go do something fun for you. You've got take care of yourself.

Cheri said...

Honey,

Here is a big, warm hug for that little girl inside you still. SQUEEEEEEEEZE. She's a wonderful, strong, good, deserving girl.

And here's some blog love for Misty the Mom, who is giving her kids everything that Misty the Girl needed.

Here's another hug. SQUEEEEEEEZE!

Kami said...

Yup. That's simply heartbreaking. I can't even imagine what that would be like. At that age, your mom should be your one constant.

You are giving that to your kids and that is so wonderful but I wish you could have known that!

BIG HUGS!

Are You Serious! said...

♥ That makes my heart break for the precious little girl that you were! and then now with all the turmoil and emotions that you're feeling!

I have a good life said...

I have never read your blog until today and this post was just so touching. What a brave girl you were. How horrid that you had to live through that. Thank-goodness you know that you will be the best mom ever to your little ones!

LaskiGal said...

Misty . . . I just want to hug that little girl you once were. I want to take her to the park. Do her hair. Make cookies with her. Take her shopping. Tell her stories. Sing songs with her.

I'm getting all weepy and have to go . . .

You are a wonderful, beautiful mom--know that. Please.

TUTU Monkey said...

I have not read your blog until today either....I found you on Rhonda's blog. I just want to hug that little girl (you). Your story really touched me and I am wishing you the very best. You have beautiful children.
Dana

Lara said...

It does make it more real, you're right. I think we all know many survivors of abuse, but when you see it in the context of what it was to really survive it as a little, innocent, child...

...it makes me want to be so much better as a mom. To make sure my children never have to experience anything remotely like that.

((hugs)) to you. You are such a strong woman, adn a wonderful example to me.

Cecily R said...

It makes it more real, and they make me sad. They make me want to grab my naughty kids and hug them anyway.

I second Laski. I wish I could go back in time and play ring around the rosies and blow bubbles with you. I really wish I could.

Lindsey said...

Thankfully you are the mother that you always longed for as a child. Your children are very blessed to have such a strong and loving mother. Look at how far you have come...

My Ice Cream Diary said...

The pictures make it all too real. This is more than an afterschool special, this is reality. Yet it makes me happy to know that you are growing and becoming more than this.

PokeyAnn said...

Big hugs!

Danielle-lee said...

oh, holy hell. I have seen so many of these 'books about me' in my time working at CPS. I cried when I saw this. I am soooo sorry.
You will need to some day just burn this stuff. It does not DEFINE who you are today, it just SHAPED you.