Friday, April 17, 2009
Helping your children heal.
As the days pass, losing the baby gets harder. Normal life is settling in, and the loss is more apparent. Nothing seems natural. I hurt, my kids hurt, my husband hurts. I'm moody, I don't feel well, my hernia hurts, I'm still water logged, and I just feed plain old mean. I've had a migraine for three days and I'm not sleeping well.
I was sorting through the baby's things this morning. Getting his memory box together. I came across a book the hospital sent home with us.... concerning all things grief and your children.
We are going to work on this today:
Make a notebook for your child to write or draw about how he or she is feeling. When your family talks about the person who died, get it out and make lists. These might be titled:
1. What I'd like to say to the person who died
2. Thing that make me sad/angry/scared/confused
3. People I can talk to about my grief
4. Questions I have about how the person died
5. Where I go to feel safe
6. Things I worry about
7. What I do to have fun
It has been a struggle for me to un-hook from my own feelings, and concentrate on the children. I'm here, but not really, if that makes any sense. I've been able to check in with the kids a few times a day to see where they are at with their feelings, and they come to me when they want to cry or share how they feel. It's a good start, but I need to do more.
So. Today. It's going to more about them, less about me. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll be checking back in.....