I'm not keeping track of how far along I am. It's just not the same. I thought I was 28 weeks along, I'm actually 27. I will have a scheduled section the beginning of May. So. Like. 11 weeks from now.
I'm feeling a wee bit peaked today. Saturday I found a piece of furniture on sale for 100 bucks, normal price : $700.00. I shop like that. I'm a stay at home Mom. Having had my hours cut by 60% (I have a "real" work-from-home job, too), I would say money is tight. We do out best to be "money smart". Tickled with my new find, my girl friend and I had the piece loaded in the back of the van, and off we went. Sorta. I backed into some one else in the parking lot. Going a mile an hour. I caused a paint blemish. Trouble is the other car already had front end damage. It's a wee bit tricky debating over who pays for what. We're going to have to to pay to have the fender re-painted, not paying for ANY other repairs. Still - - we're looking at $300.00, hopefully not more. The people speak Spanish., we're not communicating well. They won't pick up the phone if we call. I need to get this squared AWAY. The only thing I can control right now, is our modest income. I want to know what these other people want from us, so I can work it into the budget. We're looking at medical bills - - hundreds of dollars. We're looking at funeral expenses - - hundreds of dollars. We're looking at missed work in May - - hundreds of dollars. We're planning something special for the kids in May - - another 3 hundred dollars. Money is the only thing I can control right now - it doesn't have a due date, it's not going to die on me...... So, these extra stresses..... they are pushing me over the edge! Weeeeeeeeee!
Life here in Utah moves on. We're fine, for the most part. I still avoid leaving the house as much as possible. I always seems to run into some one I know, and then I cry, and then feel embarrassed..... like Ian's teacher, this Saturday, in the grocery store..... talk about awkward..... "Um... hi... nice to see you.... please excuse me while I bawl over my shopping cart......". My first extinct..... RUN away..... avoid all personal contact. Do. Not. Talk.
The children continue through ups and downs..... I'm doing my best to work things through with them. Summer is going to be a Godsend this year. We just need to play in the sun, and swim, and eat cold treats, and garden, and play the days away. No pressure. Just each other.
Anyway - - until next time. This basket case will be walking on................