Monday, February 16, 2009

Backed In.

I'm not keeping track of how far along I am. It's just not the same. I thought I was 28 weeks along, I'm actually 27. I will have a scheduled section the beginning of May. So. Like. 11 weeks from now.

I'm feeling a wee bit peaked today. Saturday I found a piece of furniture on sale for 100 bucks, normal price : $700.00. I shop like that. I'm a stay at home Mom. Having had my hours cut by 60% (I have a "real" work-from-home job, too), I would say money is tight. We do out best to be "money smart". Tickled with my new find, my girl friend and I had the piece loaded in the back of the van, and off we went. Sorta. I backed into some one else in the parking lot. Going a mile an hour. I caused a paint blemish. Trouble is the other car already had front end damage. It's a wee bit tricky debating over who pays for what. We're going to have to to pay to have the fender re-painted, not paying for ANY other repairs. Still - - we're looking at $300.00, hopefully not more. The people speak Spanish., we're not communicating well. They won't pick up the phone if we call. I need to get this squared AWAY. The only thing I can control right now, is our modest income. I want to know what these other people want from us, so I can work it into the budget. We're looking at medical bills - - hundreds of dollars. We're looking at funeral expenses - - hundreds of dollars. We're looking at missed work in May - - hundreds of dollars. We're planning something special for the kids in May - - another 3 hundred dollars. Money is the only thing I can control right now - it doesn't have a due date, it's not going to die on me...... So, these extra stresses..... they are pushing me over the edge! Weeeeeeeeee!

Life here in Utah moves on. We're fine, for the most part. I still avoid leaving the house as much as possible. I always seems to run into some one I know, and then I cry, and then feel embarrassed..... like Ian's teacher, this Saturday, in the grocery store..... talk about awkward..... "Um... hi... nice to see you.... please excuse me while I bawl over my shopping cart......". My first extinct..... RUN away..... avoid all personal contact. Do. Not. Talk.

The children continue through ups and downs..... I'm doing my best to work things through with them. Summer is going to be a Godsend this year. We just need to play in the sun, and swim, and eat cold treats, and garden, and play the days away. No pressure. Just each other.

Anyway - - until next time. This basket case will be walking on................

14 comments:

Kathy said...

You're normal girlfriend! If not, then we're all in the same basket together :)

just jamie said...

Can I hang out in your basket too? :)

Kami said...

Oh Misty, it must be so hard. Sounds to me like you are doing the best you can. And I know that everyt ime you see someone new and get the crying over with, the next time will be so much easier. I have a friend who lost her baby at 7 months - for no reason, even the autopsy revealed nothing - and that's how it has been with her.

Hang in there, everyone is loving you and supporting you. Let the tears out :)

Anonymous said...

I happened upon your blog somehow, and I wanted you to know that you and your baby are in my prayers. While I have not lost a full term baby, I have lost 3 precious little souls to miscarriage. On the one year anniversary of my first miscarriage, I happened upon this verse and it has stayed with me.
The Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb, He called my name. Isaiah 49:1

Ashley said...

Honey I am so sorry. We all have our basketcase moments. People understand. I have cried at the grocery store for no reason at all, so who is the real basketcase?

Your new back ground is lovely.

~Ashley

Holly said...

I imagine "basket case" days will become more common as we get closer to meeting our children. Hang in there momma.

Lara said...

You are not a basket case. You are perfectly normal. I can't wait for summer for your family, either...this experience will only bring you closer I'm sure.

Are You Serious! said...

♥ I love your header! You have beautiful children!

mandy said...

You are an amazing woman. At least you have a reason for being a basket case. Mine is just 3 kids.:)

Pokeyann said...

Uh, did I ever tell you about the time I cried when I opened a Christmas present....it was a scanner. Ummm ya, I cried over a scanner, for no reason, really. So at least you aren't in the same basket of crazy as me ;), I aspire to be in your basket, at least it's normal. Sending loves and hugs!

Pokeyann said...

P.S. LOVE the new header!

Danielle-lee said...

I don't think you are a basket case. I think it is entirely logical for you to want to avoid eye contact, talking, going out in public. I also think it's totally okay to cry. The people WHO DON'T CRY are the ones to worry about. :)
I wish I could help you somehow. Plan some fun stuff for your kids; plan a girls day out for you; clean your house; something. AS always, I'm praying. :)

Mandy said...

You are doing great! Don't worry about crying in mid-sentence or mid-shopping cart pushing. You are doing what you can to self protect, and right now that is what you need. I didn't leave the house for, oh...about 3 months really after the twins. It seemed like their were freaking pregnant people or babies EVERYWHERE. God was cruel...I was convinced. But in the end I realized he had no control over people and their profuse procreation! I love the look of your new blog so much! Did I ever tell you that I am a direct descendant of Brigham Young. Pretty crazy considering my whole relationship with religion at this point in my life. Still think he was an amazing guy though. Have I told you lately I love you. :) Lets make a phone date soon.

M.

Lindsey said...

I don't know how you are doing it all. Seriously? I don't even pretend to understand. I'm so very sorry that all this is happening. Sending you hugs and prayers!