I wanted to further explain something I wrote in my last post.
I was not meaning to blow off the few friends I have that have done their best to be here for me. I have had a friend being meals into my home. I've had a neighbor bring bread and flowers. I've had care packages in the mail. I have a friend that curled up by me on the couch as I cried for my sweet boy. I've had emails, a play date or two, a phone call from time to time.
What I wanted to explain is what I have needed, that another bereaved mother has provided to me in friendship:
1. I don't have to worry about talking about my son too much. I don't have to worry about making some one feel awkward.
2. I can talk to her about how my marriage has changed.
3. I can talk to her about this sadness has changed every day life.
3. I can talk to her about how much I love my boy, but she understands how much I hurt because I miss him.
4. She can understand that the constant care, and checking in, and cute emails and notes is something I love. I need people to remember, because I hurt every day.
5. I know she won't tire of my journey because she is journeying the same one. I know she is patient with me, and understands why I would and still do hurt. She understands that it's possible to hurt, even if you have faith in God, and she understands it's possible to hurt, even if you have moments of joy. I don't feel judged by her.
It's not that I don't appreciate what others have done for me, but I appreciate having a friend, too, that is in my same boat.
I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings. I guess it's just how it is sometimes.