Been there, done that. That's how I feel when I come across someone who is less than understanding about the grieving process. Been there, done that. Felt their judgment. There's been a little buzz around the blog word: those of us Moms that have had babies die full term have posted about family, friends, and by standers not supporting those of us that feel that some days we're drowning. It's made me angry the past couple days. And maybe a little embarrassed. No one likes to be perceived as weak, yet right now, I have the most "weak" moments of my life. Oddly enough though - I'm they are getting it miserably wrong. I'm not weak, I'm my own hero. I made and CHOSE to make the greatest sacrifice I have made in my entire life. I carried my child, in womb, and CHOSE to give him what ever life I could. I loved him tenderly, I showered him with adoration, I shared him, I allowed him to born, claim his body, and fly back to Jesus. Jesus exists, friends. I've felt him. God's there, too. I know Him. I know the love He has for my newborn babe. I'm strong. I birthed my child, I LOVE my child, and I dare to mourn him, though others may not. Be patient with me. Be patient with any woman in your life that has suffered a loss such as this. Let her grieve. Let her be strong in her weakness. Let her be, let her be in any moment she's having, her heart is broken just like mine. And to any others that feel like you're able to snap me, or another grieving mother out of this, this was my response to someone that thinks like yourself:
"And this is exactly what I meant - - even the thought that you would think you could make her "snap" out if it proves my point. Her children will be alright. Her husband not talking about it is normal - - my husband doesn't either. A year from now, even a month from now, there will be progress, and they'll look back very tenderly and realize that they've some how made it through. I cry for my baby every day - - I miss him, I want him back. I have retreated into my home, and I'm less patient with my children. I think about Isaac every moment of every day, even if no one else does. Time, sweet friend..... time is what helps. There is no way around, but only through it, through the grief. Even if we ALL know our children were called home to serve God, we with them here with us instead .
This I know to be true because I witnessed it myself: God exists, and that the spirit world is as real as the seat I sit on. It is a sad thing, though, to be chastised, and misunderstood. Faith or no faith, this is the trial of my life - - - feeling really low is part of the process. I appreciate that you apologized to her, and I appreciate that you took time to write me back. I know your intentions were good, and hopefully we've all learned to be more empathetic towards each other. Imagine it for yourself. If you can. I used to imagine it, and now it's my worst nightmare."
And now for a little of the humor I pride myself of: All my baby loss Mamas: We're going to get through this. There is peace that passes all understanding on the other side. *chest bump*
Yes, you read that last part right.