Saturday, May 30, 2009

Let me clarify....

I wanted to make sure that you women knew how much I love and appreciate you. There are women (you) who read my blog, and comment knowing I don't get back to you often. I'm working on that. What I didn't mention is that I need YOU to keep reading and sharing your support and stories with me. I pull much strength from those, who are strangers, and have reached out to touch my hand, through blogging and emails. Thank you. Thank you for loving me, although you're still getting to know me. Thank you for cheering me on and telling me you care, and telling me how you relate to me, or even if you don't. I just need to be accepted. Accepted now that I am different than I was before, and that I am pulling whom I'm close to, closer.... which is some of my readers, too. I appreciate that you get and try to understand my struggle right now. I'm just in a different place. I knew this was a make it or break it kind of trial I was facing. People would have a chance to prove their love to me, as I proved my love for them, right back. For some it's worked, for others, it hasn't. What ever it means, thank YOU for still reading, although I am a whole ball of nut job right now. Don't you just wish you were my neighbor, too??

Love, Misty

19 comments:

Laurie in Ca. said...

Misty,

It would be an honor to be your neighbor too. I won't stop reading because of your honesty, the opposite is the case. I don't read to be entertained, I read so I can hopefully understand all moms in your situation so that I can encourage you. You are not a nut job Misty, you are a mommy with a broken heart for your Isaac. I wish I could help, but I will keep praying for you for sure.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Shannon said...

These kinds of trials definitely change who we are. No matter how strong of a person we were before, this breaks us. It's not really a "make or break" trial, it's a complete "break" trial. We completely break. Some have the ability to be remade, while others stay broken.

But for a while, it's OKAY to be broken. It's been almost 8 months for me, and I still have a couple days a week of brokenness.

Just know there are those of us who have been where you are. If you need to lean on us while you are broken, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say , "Lean Away".

*hugs*

Debbie said...

I would love to be your neighbor!

Mom Putnam said...

You are NOT a nut job just being honest which is what we should be anyway and you are so loved by me and you know that, I AM here for you all the time. Love your family and your little Isaac too.Prayers to you and family.
Linda

Rebecca said...

I am not going away. I feel blessed to have found you and I am here to read and learn and share with you my heart, my hope and my strength. For as long as you need it and for as long as you'll have me. :)

Thank you for stopping by to offer your warm thoughts. Means a lot!

-Rebecca

Beth said...

I don't think you should be anything less then brutally honest. The people who really care about you will stick around.. the people who don't.. well your better off without them in your life. I'm not going anywhere..

Trennia said...

I will continue to read I actually have your blog linked to mine so I can see when you update :0)
I've been praying for you as I too have babies in heaven and I know your hurt.

Betty said...

Not sure if you know me, I came over from Holly's blog...and I, too am a nut job. It's ok, and totally understandable, to be off. I dont expect a response. Ever. I just want you to know that there is someone out there, somewhere, reading, and caring. I dont always comment, rarely do, but I read each and every blog. I am right there with you. I cant comprehend the pain, but I can imagine. That's enough.

treasuresandsnares said...

I for one appreciate your honesty in how you are feeling. I believe that there is/are someone/many that you have touched or will. I believe you are helping others that have had, will have and are having a similare experience to know that they to are not the only one. I believe God has sent us all to you to learn. I for one am greatful to know you..even through the internet ;) and PROUD to call YOU FRIEND.

ps. I don't ever expect you to "get back" to me... Just let us know through your blog how you are and so we can let YOU know You are LOVED and Cared for

Your Friend
Kim :)

Holly said...

I, for one, would love to be your neighbor. And, I think you need to continue to be honest. Those who love you, love you for that honesty. I like being able to check on you through your blog and facebook and I never expect you to get back to me. Grief and recovery are a process, sweetie, there is no time frame or expectation.

Love you!

Klin said...

Being your neighbor would be great. I love my neighborhood, too, so we are just going to have to be driving neighbors.

Do you remember how we met in blog world? I do and think of you every time I see the picture.

Chandy said...

Hi again, I don't get to visit much but I do think about you often. I don't often get to visit everyone so I know which boat you're on.

Enjoy each day and know that your readers still love ya... ;-)

Renee' said...

Hello, I have never really posted a comment on your page because we have never met in person. I have been reading your blog for months now and have and will continue to pray many prays for you and your family. God is an awesome God, and trust me I learned the hard way that he will get us through what we need his help with the most just maybe not with the speed we expect. I requested you as a friend on facebook tonight because of your blog and would enjoy getting to know you better. I think that your a great mother and an awesome human being with unimaginable strength that has touched my heart with every post. I for one would be very happy to have you as a neighbor and would be even more honored to have you as a friend. God truly does put people in our lives, yes even through a blog, that make us think, see, and grow through each other. Hope you don't mind that I posted.
Renee'

Holly said...

I love you too, Misty!!! You know, I don't think it's a big deal if you don't get back with people. We all know you have a lot on your plate. I certainly don't get back with everyone who comments. They know I care. :)

And yes, I do wish I were your neighbor!!

S said...

Misty, I love your honesty and willingness to share your thoughts with us thru your blog...Hugs!

Seraphim said...

I'm not going anywhere. And as for commenting. I love hearing from you when you can, but you don't have to. I'm hear loving you and holding your precious family in my heart.

Alicia W. said...

I sure do wish you were my neighbor! I would shower you with my love of cooking and baking. Let your kids run through my back yard as much as they wanted and make you laugh at any given chance that I could. :o)

You don't have to give back to any of us that comment you - Just know that we are all united in a way of giving you strength and courage to go on. We love you!

Nickel Pickle said...

((hugs)) I wish you were my neighbor too!

Nicole Mommy to Logan Quinn.

Michal Ann said...

I'm still walking with you down your road less traveled, Misty. You and I first exchanged emails in January. As I mentioned back then, you are fulfilling the 2009 resolutions you published before you knew Isaac's diagnosis. You wrote "Happy New Year everybody. I have a lot of goals, but the most important one: my goal isn't to attend church, or read my scriptures, it's not losing weight, although all of those are swell choices.

I want to develop the softer side in myself and develop greater patience and love for my children. I want to develop the ability to pick my battles as a mother, and learn to let the little stuff go... I want to nurture the better mother in myself. That's what I want for 2009....

And writing? Blogging??

Seems like I have to do it. Whether any one reads or not.
So here we are 2009. Being brutally honest. Watching my children grow, and getting ready to welcome our 4th child into the family in May. Kinda takes my breath away some days.
Walk with me. Down my less traveled road."

Aren't your resolutions prophetic? You are certainly being refined in the way you desired. Re-reading older postings, many of your prayers have been answered even as Isaac's healing has only been complete in Heaven. I feel privileged to "know" you and also wish I could be your IRL friend and neighbor.

Take heart, dear Misty. You are loved and prayed for. I hope you feel us in the circle.

In the love of Jesus, Michal

Isaiah 43: 1-3 NLT

1 But now, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. 2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.
When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.