Sunday, June 7, 2009

Child of mine.

video

Friends, it has now been two months since Isaac joined our family. Two months of a different kind of hell and joy, that I have never experienced before.

God lives. Jesus is the Christ. I believe with my whole heart that my sweet Isaac lived in the pre-existence, just as you and I did before he was born. I believe we, together, chose the right, and those of us that chose Heavenly Father's plan, also chose to usher Satan and his followers from the heavens. I believe Isaac waited to be apart of our family. I believe Isaac waited, knowing that his Father would create a body for him that would ensure his quick return back to him. I knew, and felt in every bone of my body, that this child I was asked to carry was perfect. I knew that his soul was so mighty that he would not have to live on this earth through the trials and heartache and schooling that you and I need. This child would kiss us with his holy presence and return back to God and Christ's arms and ask what he was needed to do next. When sweet Isaac was born, and for the hours to follow, the precence of God and His love, not only for Isaac, but for me, was felt time and time again. I had completed the task I had set out to do. I had delivered my child safely back into his Heavenly Father's arms. Friends, Isaac still lives, just as Jesus and God does. I feel this in my most quiet moments, and in my most sorrowful moments, my most joyous moments. I miss him, my heart aches for him, my mind searches for the right ways in which to continue to live again.

This is the struggle. To know the right balance of joy and sorrow. To know the right balance of including Isaac's memory in our home. To know that I truly have four children, but my youngest was too mighly to be raised by his earthly mother. The struggle is to praise God for this perfect child, but to beg Him to carry me as I crawl through loneliness and heart ache. The struggle is to believe with all my heart, that this child will join our family again, some day, and that I can live to be worthy of that greatest blessing.

God is there, my sweet friends. Some of His greatest requirements of us, will truly be our largest sacrifices. Carry on. Run, walk, crawl through each day, knowing He is waiting to bare you up. Christ lives. He loves you, as He love me, also.

Carry on, endure on, and know that I carry and endure on right with you. Isaac's story is the light in our life, our hope is that we can share some of that bright light with you, and that together, our lives will be better for it. My prayer is, that God's love, through Isaac's story, will reach hundreds, and that each and every one of us will continue on, to become better, more joyous, and loving people for it. Hold your children and loved ones close tonight, as I do the same.

Love, Misty

20 comments:

Shannon said...

*big big hugs*

Holly said...

God is good! I certainly believe all of our babies are with Jesus and could be in no better place than Heaven. He will carry you when you can't walk. He will never leave you. Isaac's life has and will touch so many people.

Celia said...

All I can say is...Amen. God is here carrying us. Our babies are in heaven and we have that sweet promise.

Rebecca said...

Without having Heavenly Father and our Saviour, Jesus Christ in our minds and hearts each and every day we could not endure. You are SO right, Isaac waits for his family to join him craddled in the arm of pure love. Amen, Misty...AMEN!

Mom Putnam said...

God is carrying every one of you when you feel you cant take another step, he will NEVER leave you. He will not take you where he has not gone before to pave the way to make it easier for you.
God is so ever faithful.

Eliot's Mom said...

Beautifully said, Misty. I know your faith is carrying you through all of this. I will never forget the sweet peace I felt in your home those first few days after Isaac left -- a powerful evidence of the truths you've witnessed. I hope you get to feel Isaac's angel presence often. He's with you, and Heavenly Father and the Savior are with you. I'm proud of you for just getting up to "crawl" through your days. I don't know if I could do it. I just hope my faith would carry me through like yours is for you. Call me. We'd love to see you if you're up for a visit.

Michele said...

We are asked to carry these perfect little ones for their short lives on earth and that is sacred.

They do live. They always will.

"For it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

Beth said...

What comfort it must be to know without a shadow of a doubt that Isaac is in the arms of a loving Father in Heaven. I can only imagine the strength you pull from that. I'm so glad you have the gospel in your life. I long to somehow get to a place where it is also in mine. With love, Beth

April said...

I visited your blog through one of your friends and I am glad I did. Your post is beautiful. I think if every mother who grieves the loss of their child would read your words, maybe the weight they carry would be alittle less heavy. The video is so sweet and a wonderful thing for your family to have. I can see this was quite hard on your older two children. I lost a sibling when I was a child as well. They will remember - they will write letters to their brother and draw pictures as their way to feel closer to him. At least, that's how I felt...

I am sorry for your loss and very inspired by your words.

Anna said...

Dagnabit! You made me cry! Again!!!

What a beautiful post, from such a beautiful soul. Bless you and your family.

Need more tissues...

Holly said...

Well said. Love you!

S said...

Wow! That is honestly one of the most well written things I've come across in a while! Your post showed such honesty and faith. It was very inspiring. Hugs to you and your family and may God's grace and glory shine brightly.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Yet again, I am so amazed and inspired by your faith following such a trying time. Bless you and your family!
xoxo

nikjarv said...

The title of your post... "Child of Mine" - gave me the chills when I read it. My mother wrote a poem to me and my siblings before she died from cancer with the same name. I posted it on my blog around mothers day. www.nicholejarvis.blogspot.com

Kami's Khlopchyk said...

Oh Misty, your words are beautiful and your faith is inspiring.

Thank you.

And that song, it brings me to tears every time. I love the words, they are just beautiful.

love you!

Kristin (kekis) said...

I just watched the amazingly beautiful slideshow for Isaac. I, of course, was melted to tears and lifted to a peaceful heart through it. Though I cannot imagine your depth of loss and pain, I also know that the Lord will take you through this. That is why we have Him.

Thank you for sharing your family and your words. One thing you said in this blog ("Run, walk, crawl through each day, knowing He is waiting to bare you up.") really hit home to me. There have been many days in my journey to become a mother that I've had to crawl through, but He has bared me up and retaught me how to walk. I appreciate the reminder. God bless.

easytravel said...

Smiles... thanks for share. nice blog. See you on my blog also. I'll wait your coming

Amy said...

I love you even more for this post. I watch you accept and grow from the changes God brings to you, and I am edified, and uplifted. Isaac touches us and teaches us through his beloved mother.

Walking by Faith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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