Who wouldn't feel more safe at home with this man around?
Now to change gears. I got my period today. Which was a surprise, because the 2nd drug I need to take was to actually induce a period. The Metformin, which I am on now, is working, better than expected. Don't get excited. There'll be no extra effort this month. If I were to get pregnant this month, the baby would be born end of May next year. I can't miss out on the kid's end of-the-school-year-celebrations, so the first month I want to give birth next year is June. That's why September will be the big push with Clomid. Funny to be talking about next year's summer vacation when we're just ending this one.
I can't say I've been spot on this week. I have things planned for the kids and I to do, but now that I'm working from home 25 hours a week, even fun activities can be an extra stress. Yesterday we bowled and I took the kids out to eat. Today was red box night and treats. Tomorrow we have lunch out, plus feeding the ducks, and playing at the park. I'm looking forward to it, but in the back of my mind I'm always planning on how I can get my hours in, school prep in, cleaning in, with out totally wiping myself out. Which is a joke because I am so freaking tired.
And. To top it off, I bitched the kids out tonight. I swear the neighbors think I am satan, that is, if they can hear me. I worry too much. Screw 'em, right? The kids were fighting. I was trying to put away (new) clean clothes for the kids to have for next week, and to top it off, Hannah and Ian decided to let Olivia play in a sugar bowl - - you know the drill, I had sugar all over my kitchen. I yelled at the kids, sent them to bed, got my oldest two up again because I felt guilty, they started fighting again, I sent them back to bed, let them get back out, and here we are. Some days I tell ya.... some freaking days.......
I'm just trying to do it right, get it right, be right, feel right, love right, scold right, teach right. I'm tired. So, so tired.
9 comments:
Don't be too hard on yourself - the end of summer can be stressful and tiring. Sometimes I wish my kids could send me to bed early. :)
And I love the tattoo.
♥ Cute picture! And I feel ya! I'm constantly questioning myself and what I do? Was I too mean? Did I need to be more stern? I can't figure it out...
Some days are just like that Misty. Don't beat yourself up too much! Here's a quote for you.
"Someday I hope to enjoy enough of what the world calls success so that somebody will ask me, "What's the secret of it?" I shall simply say this: "I get up when I fall down." ~Paul Harvey
Enjoyed our covo yesterday. Hope we can do it again soon! XXOO
that's why this "mommy job" is so hard... because we tend to be the hardest on ourselves.
I remember one day I was crying to Tony about how much I'd 'yelled' at the boys one day; thinking what how I'd hurt their feelings soooo bad. He went into their rooms and asked them, "Did mommy yell at you a lot today?"
My oldest said (in 'that' tone like... dah, dad. Let me explain it to you)...
Well, yeah she had to yell at is dad... we were playing outside having fun so she had to yell or else we couldn't hear her, boys are like that... we play outside alot.
so much for me thinking I just mortally wounded them for life...
don't be too hard on yourself, kids are great about loving us inspite of ourselves.
He's a handsome one! Don't doubt yourself - you are doing fine. We all have our days!
I"m sorry you are so tired. YOu can't do it all. Little baby steps! Enjoy them. Let the house be dirty.
I understand the whole Satan thing. My girl and the dogs are driving me nuts, in intervals, and sometimes I just yell, and now my girl says 'mommy, please don't yell', which is good, b/c it puts me in check, but sad that it got to that point. :(
You are a good mom, doing all those things. Don't forget it.
I think all I've done this summer is bitch at my kids! Poor things. I never took myself for a yeller, but I'm shaping up into one. It's the heat. I can't handle heat. I should move to Alaska...
I am so with you here, I think that someone should grab various posts from various blogs and put them in a book and the title should be:
"Things you should know before you decide to have children"!
Everyone should have to read it before they decide to "go for it"!!
Thinking about you, xxxx
Oh Misty. I think YOU could have heard me from THERE scream at my kids many-a-days.
Good luck with the Clomid. :)
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