Thursday, March 29, 2012

This. Is. Normal??

Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family’s life.
Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind.
Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart.
Normal is staring at every baby who looks like he is my baby’s age. And then thinking of the age he would be now and not being able to imagine it. Then wondering why it is even important to imagine it, because it will never happen.
Normal is telling the story of your child’s death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone’s eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my “normal”.
Normal is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child’s memory and his birthday and survive these days.
Normal is my heart warming and yet sinking at the sight of something special that my baby would have loved, but how he is not here to enjoy it.
Normal is having some people afraid to mention my baby.
Normal is making sure that others remember him.
Normal is after the funeral is over everyone else goes on with their lives, but we continue to grieve our loss forever.
Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better.
Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you – it doesn’t compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural.
Normal is trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it.
Normal is realizing I do cry everyday.
Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child.
Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives.
Normal is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have three children or two, because you will never see this person again and it is not worth explaining that my baby is in heaven. And yet when you say you have two children to avoid that problem, you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your baby.
Normal is knowing I will never get over this loss, in a day or a million years.
And last of all, Normal is hiding all the things that have become “normal” for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think that you are “normal”.
-Author Unknown

Monday, March 5, 2012

So, I started a business.

Hi Friends!

I cannot believe Isaac's birthday is coming up soon. Can you believe that he'll be THREE. Three. Three years since I held that sweet baby boy in my arms. I have missed him so much. I wish he were here, getting into trouble and making messes and giving me a run for my money. His birthday falls on Easter Day this year, although a nice coincidence, that time has so many hard memories attached. So many. We buried him the day after Easter in 2009. The sorrow and devastation. I honestly don't even like to think about it, it's too easy to go back there, to that place, to remember. It still hurts. Every day.

Anywho..... Do you like how I glazed right over switched gears like that? Oh that talents we have! (wink)

So. I started a business. I KNOW!!! A custom vinyl lettering and decor business. I can't say I have it completely together, but I'm organized enough to take orders, so that's good, right?? (now you shout RIGHT!!)

In remembrance of Isaac,  I am offering special pricing on baby boards for bereaved mothers. Read all about it HERE. Or head over to my Vinyl blog, which is Writing on the Wall, and read the Baby Loss Community tab.

Here are some examples:

I'm also offering a lot more:
Word blocks and chunky blocks.
Chunky blocks.
Boards. 3 sizes.
Vinyl Lettering.
Vinyl lettering.

Also, if you are interested in blogging about my new vinyl shop, I am offering a 15% discount off of one item, plus one free word block (you pick the wording). Email here, for details:

As always, love from ME to YOU!