Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Shhhhh. I moved.


I moved.

I just spent all morning moving everything over to my new blog. The location is secret, yet still public, and my hope is that you'll follow me there. Email me for the location of my new blog, it won't be listed under my profile.

Tag, you're it.

If you're interested, email me here:

Love, Misty

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Analyze this.

I’m beginning a new chapter in my life. A new chapter that doesn’t include much outside my family. I’ve spent a lot of time analyzing myself, and why I’m not like another person, and I finally have decided it really doesn’t matter. I don’t HAVE to be like anyone else. I’ve never kept a lot of friends. I’m not terribly close with my biological family. I don’t get out much. The very few friends I’ve kept are enough for me. I’m not social in church settings. I don’t have the desire to “know” a lot of people casually. I love being at home. I love spending the majority of my time with my kids and husband. I love decorating and making my home a sanctuary. I love my animals. I love being alone, without the distractions of a lot of different people. I am who I am because of what I’ve lived. I don’t have to expect that other people would value or appreciate that about me. Or even expect that someone would even try to understand why I am the way I am, let alone embrace that. I’m at a point in my life where I just need to be ok with where I’m at. I’ve done my best. The rest is between me, my family, and the Lord.

I’ve been thinking a lot about boundaries. And the need for privacy balanced with the need for support in my life. I’m interested in making new relationships grow with people that are a good match for me - - that list of prospects is really small. I find myself thinking about why I’m involved with one person or another - - when those people are people I REALLY don’t want to share my feeling s with. I’m trying to create boundaries concerning what happens in my life here on out. If I’m able to get pregnant again, I don’t plan on sharing that with a lot of people. I don’t know how much I care share here, because my blog address was shared with people I don’t know well at church. And people talk. I don’t want people spreading my business around church when I’m not ready or willing to share, and trust me, it’s happened before. Just GOING to church is hard enough, I hate wondering who knows more about me than I wished….. Going private is too much work. Censoring what I write about is even more work than that. Apparently maybe I need to just find more to blog about – outside of dead babies and lost pregnancies.

I’ll be anxious to see if we’ve had some success here in a couple weeks. I have a good feeling about it. I’ve prayed, and then prayed again that I can carry a healthy baby to term. I think about what that would mean to me, and mean for my family. It’s overwhelming. We’re just so ready for something new, and something more. I feel like I’ve paid my dues. And those dues have come at a very high price. ……..
I’ll be checking back in before too long……

Love, Misty